Deep Thoughts Early Sunday Morning

Why is it when the amount on a bottle of vitamins is an even number, and there are only two people in the family, that there is only one left in the bottle?

Why do we never look at the empy roll of toilet paper before we sit down?
Is Keith Richards a living example of the Picture of Dorian Gray? I mean the painting, not Dorian. In the same vein, is it really true that Mick Jagger can't get no satisfaction, or better yet, should these guys still be playing that tune?
Why, despite my better judgement, I read the Family Circus? And what is UP with Funky Winkerbean?
What's up with my eyebrows? And when exactly did hair start growing out my ears?
What movie did I watch last night?
Why are there car alarms?
Do I have a doppleganger and if so where does he live?
Is Diane Sawyer a nice person? She seems so.